This product may be hazardous to global health

Been around the world and found
that only stupid people were breeding
Harvey Danger, "Flagpole Sitta"

I've always enjoyed looking at the items in the Impulse Purchase department of the grocery store. All the candy, magazines, horoscope scrolls, sodas, and other things you can't possibly do without, all laid out nicely in the checkout aisles... I confess I've bought a handful of things from the Impulse Purchase department--a box of Tic-Tacs, that issue of Redbook a few months back with Mariska Hargitay on the cover--but I was taught from a very young age that We Buy What We've Come In For, And If We Buy Anything Else, It Can't Come From The Display At The Register; and I'm quite good at upholding that one.

Today I went into Safeway to get an Odwalla soy shake and a thing of yogurt. (Yogurt doesn't come in containers, by the way. It comes in things.) What I really wanted was a Fresh Samantha soy shake, which I haven't had since about 2002. Odwalla just isn't the same. But now I know why I haven't seen Fresh Samanthas in years--Odwalla bought them out and then discontinued them. grrrrrr.

Well, I got my inferior Odwalla soy shake and my thing of yogurt, and I proceeded to the checkout. And what did I feast my eyes upon while in line, but a miniature version of this?


Well, at the very least, this was a blog entry waiting to happen.