Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Battle for the Toy Box

Next month, select Wal-Mart stores are supposed to begin stocking the Tales of Glory line of Biblical action figures.

Apparently there is a "Battle for the Toy Box!" going on. It seems to me like a pretty one-sided battle, declared by the side that perceives itself to be under attack. But that is a snark for a different day.

For today, I bring you: The Nativity Play Set.

You will notice, in the lower right-hand corner, a choking hazard warning. Presumably this is due to the diminutive size of the molded PVC Baby Jesus.

Now I may be a heathen Jew--and a secular heathen Jew at that--but it's always been my understanding that one is supposed to take Jesus into one's heart, not one's trachea.

But then I wonder: if you successfully swallow the plastic Baby Jesus, does it transubstantiate itself into a plastic Communion wafer?

I would test my questions myself, but I don't want to lend credence to the old fear that Jews eat little Christian babies. Then again, PVC was not around during the early days of blood libel. So perhaps my excuse should be that I just don't want to set foot in a Wal-Mart ever again.


Heather W. Reichgott said...

There IS a war for the toy box. It is "merchandising and/or Satan" versus "non-merchandised toys."

Or perhaps it is Wal-Mart toys versus the rest of the world.

I intend to give our children simple objects carved out of wood, tupperware containers, pot lids and empty boxes. it worked for us.

The Ol' Well said...

Yes, the battle for the toy box! It illuminates a disturbing trend in certain conservative Christian circles. Everything, from the wildly popular if somewhat derivative Harry Potter books to thousands of relatively insignificant artifacts of modern culture are all, somehow, about them. Anything that doesn’t reinforce their worldview is a direct and insidious attempt to eradicate their belief system. Little did I know that my beloved little people farm was participating in a satanic plot to turn me into a secular humanist! Though, come to think of it, that disembodied “MOO” every time I opened the barn door was a little creepy

Lea said...

"diminutive size of the molded PVC Baby Jesus."

OK, so I'm sitting at my desk laughing out loud. The whole post cracks me up!

Some of these figures are bound to get lost in the proverbial black hole. What then? Replacement Jesus?