Sunday, May 14, 2006

Bad slogan! Bad, bad slogan!

First of all, I should state that I absolutely love Target. Because I do.

But here's the thing about Target: Their current slogan ("Expect more, pay less") sucks.

It is, however, sometimes exactly true.

Often I go into Target to find a specific item. Often they have this item. But sometimes they do not. I indeed expect more and pay less, but it's because I expected to buy something they didn't have.

Other times I go into Target to find a specific item, and they have it for quite a nice price, but it's not of the quality I wanted. Like my favorite pair of khaki pants. In general, I have a hard time buying pants because I (a) have no butt, (b) have a short waist, and (c) have longer legs than the average short person. But I found this pair of khaki pants in an Ohio Target about a year and a half ago that were absolutely perfect in terms of fit and price. I love these pants. No, let me rephrase that. I loved these pants... until the legs shrank after a number of washings, and way too much of my (cute) socks started to hang out. I expected more out of these pants, but at least I paid less.

Sometimes I expect more parking, and I end up paying less because I'm frustrated and want to leave as soon as possible.

Or I expect more checkout lanes to be open, and I pay less because I put stuff back on the shelves so that I meet the criteria for the express lanes. (I have large problems going to the grocery store alone because I get so overstimulated that I have the urge to leave my cart in the middle of the store and run away. So I have to make myself wait in line, and by the time I get out, my cognitive functions are on a par with someone with mild dementia. I am totally not making this up. Ask my wife. She has to do most of the grocery shopping.)

Oh well. At least it's not Wal-Mart, where I expect less and pay nothing. Political issues aside, I will not patronize an establishment that fries my brain more than the grocery store does.

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