Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Cookies

Windows Update is seriously a sentient being. My wife installed some Windows update kit thingie the other day because we thought it would help us get to The Book of Daniel. Alas, the show (this makes me want to vomit) seems to have been taken away from viewers completely at this point. And Windows, no matter how many times I command it not to do anything without my permission, keeps screwing around with all my custom settings and downloading random crap and attempting to crash my computer.

Unbeknownst to me, it undid all of my Internet Explorer settings. Among these were my cookie settings. I have no problem with first-party cookies. It is third-party cookies that I do not like. Windows seemed to think I should not accept any cookies at all. But it didn't think to ask me. Why should I know what I want? Really. I'm just a poor, defenseless, uninformed user.

I found out about this cookie thing while trying to log into Blogger. Quoth Blogger, "No cookies? No admittance!" (Well, that was at least the gist of the error message.) Easily fixed, yo. But the irony is that I was logging in to post a song about...

BAKING.

Without further ado, I present an anthem about my preferred method of stress relief.

I got pissed off; now I'm baking pie
You Betty Crockers can't deny
That when your spoon goes in for an itty-bitty taste
It puts a smile upon your face
I like peach. My neighbor is a leech
She don't care that my curtains are drawn
She comes over every mornin'
Says her man ain't never reformin'
Oh sister, you ought stop huffin'
And make some muffins!
Some relationships are born dead
And that man she got makes me think of cornbread
Now my phone is ringin'
Like hell you're not selling things!
So 'scuse me, 'scuse me
'Cause you're interrupting mousse, see?
I went to Wa-Wa
The cashier, he was la-la
He was strange, deranged
Too high to figure out my change
I'm tired of guys with guts
Whistling 'cause they like my butt
Take my springform pan and a dozen eggs
Instead of breaking legs
Some flour! (yeah!) Sugar! (yeah!)
And vanilla bean extract! (yeah!)
Then whip it! (Whip it!) Whip it! (Whip it!)
Whip that angel food cake!
Baby must bake!


You should come over for tea sometime.

4 comments:

CWBK said...

OMG! This had me absolutely ROLLING! I hate to hear that you are stressed out, but I sure do miss the *tasty* side effect! Miss you SWGB!
Love,
CWBK

bethieincurls said...

Gillian, your creative outlets never cease to amaze me.

love,
Beth

Anonymous said...

LOL, I'm currently in a horrible mood and trying to distract myself. Your song made me smile. :) Kara

Anonymous said...

You never cease to amaze me--this makes my top 3 of my favorite parodies you have written. You're a genius! Anne