Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The bucket brigade

DISCLAIMER: This entry does not necessarily reflect my life. It might be an accurate description of things that happen to me; it might not be an accurate description of things that happen to me, although it might be an accurate description of things that happen to other people. But then again, it could be the spittin' image of my life, and you'd never know for sure.

So one day the overlord assigns the underling a piece of work. This piece of work is very simple. From start to finish it will take approximately 90 seconds. It doesn't even require opposable thumbs. It requires a rather bulky piece of equipment that consists of plastic, platen glass, a really bright light, a lot of mysterious moving parts that jam just when you need them to work, and a bunch of messy black stuff. This piece of equipment is located right next to the little hole in the wall in which the overlord puts things for the underling. The overlord sticks the piece of work in this little hole in the wall several hours before the underling will be in to check said hole in the wall. The overlord puts a note on the piece of work that indicates its somewhat time-sensitive nature.

The underling retrieves the piece of work from the little hole in the wall, walks a couple yards over to the necessary piece of equipment, does the piece of work, and puts the finished product in the overlord's hole in the wall.

The underling does this in about two minutes, including "warm-up" time for the necessary equipment.

Total elapsed time for this whole business: Approximately 4 hours and 30 minutes.

Another day, the overlord says to the underling, "I have a piece of work to be done by someone else. This work does not involve any tangible materials, but it involves a single intangible item. I am going to transmit it to you right now via a nearly instantaneous medium of communication. Then you must transmit it, via the same nearly instantaneous medium of communication, to the person who does this work. This has to be done as soon as possible."

Nearly an hour later, the underling leaves the overlord's chamber to go retrieve this intangible item. The underling re-transmits the item to the correct person, jauntily humming "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."

1 comment:

Mrs. Gerbil said...

Being an evil sorcerer wouldn't be any fun without anyone to order around. Mickey Mouse SHOULD have been content to carry his bucket around himself, but no...