Tuesday, February 21, 2006

And on this farm they had some...

My wife has this idea that we are eventually going to have an assortment of goats and chickens. I am okay with the goats and chickens, I guess, as long as someone else takes care of them. In exchange I will do the laundry, the sewing, the interior decorating, and other domestic goddess activities.

But then why stop at goats and chickens? Why not a donkey? I wholeheartedly support the idea of having a donkey. I would get a donkey just to be able to say things like...

"Excuse me, I've got to go feed my ass."

"I'm building a new barn for my ass."

"Oh, that noise from the backyard? That's just my ass."

"I need some high-quality hay. My ass is sensitive."

"I bathe my ass every couple of months."

"Hey, kid! Stop kicking my ass!"

"Give my ass that melon rind and you'll have a friend for life."

"My ass really likes being scratched."

"I woke up this morning and the fence was broken. Four hours later my ass turned up at City Hall!"

"Sure, you can sit on my ass."

"My stubborn ass is refusing to work again."

"I think something's been biting my ass."

"It's that time of year when my neighbor and I put our asses together and wait to see what happens."

With a rooster or two, the possibilities for juvenile humor are endless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ohmygosh. Too funny! I'm actually a teensy-weensy bit less angry now.