Monday, October 31, 2005

You Won't See Me, but You'll Read This Post

Imitation, they say, is the most sincere form of flattery. If my experience is any indication, this holds about as much truth for 9- to 13-year-old girls as "oh, the boys only give you a hard time because they like you." In sixth grade, an apparently libidinous boy knocked me off the parallel bars so hard that I got a goose-egg on the way down. I hope he learned how to pick up girls sometime in the past 15 years.

But I shall spare you the gory details of my former life as a 9- to 13-year-old girl.

I present, instead, a song parody. I've got a backlog of these, all psychology-related, and hopefully I'll get them all up in a reasonable amount of time. I wrote this one about a year ago, when I discovered that The X-Files wasn't the only thing I could write parodies about. And parodies of the early Beatles--especially "Rubber Soul"--practically write themselves.

Without further ado, here is my rendition of "You Won't See Me."


I have called you up
And sent a page
I have had enough
And I'm enraged
I have lost some time
And several jugs of wine
And I have lost my mind
And you won't see me
(You won't see me)

I don't know why you
Went to the coast
If I can't get through
I'll overdose
I can't find the grey
(I know that's what you'll say)
But you have gone away
And you won't see me
(You won't see me)

Week after week
You assure me I can page you
Guess I'm a freak
I loved you; now I hate you!

Though the days are few
They're filled with tears
And since I've seen you
It feels like years
Yes, it seems so long
Doc, since you've been gone
And I just can't go on
If you won't see me

1 comment:

Heather W. Reichgott said...

Oh, come on. No ranting about boys? why not? isn't it great how we teach girls to be test subjects for boys' developing sexual harassment skills? yay.