tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184472512012-02-16T21:17:43.613-05:00Yes, I *am* analyzing you.Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.comBlogger2201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-66422017655905985392009-04-10T22:16:00.002-04:002009-04-10T22:22:50.739-04:00

Mrs. Davila is one popular lady. I--or rather, she--got another call the other day:fundraiser woman: Hello, this is so-and-so from such-and-such charity. May I speak to Mrs. Davila, please?me: I'm sorry, there's no one here by that name.FW: Oh, my apologies, she must have had your number previously.me: That's okay. Have a nice--FW: Wait, while I have you on the phone, are you the lady of the

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-13762249300678935332009-04-09T21:21:00.002-04:002009-04-09T21:35:28.865-04:00

Okay, I admit: I totally neglected this blog for five months. I kept thinking how I really ought to post things, and then I never did, and I really have no excuse for leaving you, dear reader, high and dry for so long----except that in the meantime I've been running after a 1-year-old (who is newly walking!), getting dressed up three times a week like a therapist again and being paid nicely for

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-49966276647530617242008-11-28T21:36:00.003-05:002008-11-28T21:42:51.891-05:00

- Unrip My Jeans- Unburn My Toast- Untrip My Fuse- Unsteal My PIN- Unspill My Drink- Unlose My Phone- Unbounce My Check- Unshave My Head- Uncrash My Car

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-73121003902361356042008-10-29T20:47:00.002-04:002008-10-29T20:59:52.030-04:00

Every time I hear or read about some Republican's beef with Obama's reference to "spread[ing] the wealth around," I wonder all over again what is wrong with this idea."What's wrong with a little socialism every now and then?" I ask myself."Oh, right," I answer myself. "I'm a socialist!" You are a Social Liberal (76% permissive)and an... Economic Liberal (8% permissive)You are best described

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-48591264799428372002008-10-25T21:57:00.002-04:002008-10-25T21:59:59.386-04:00

I present a pair of guide words from our phone book:I suppose it's all in the ear of the beholder.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-91164950702174767942008-10-14T20:59:00.002-04:002008-10-14T21:27:42.540-04:00

I have fierce brand loyalty where toiletries are concerned. Though Mrs. Gerbil thinks I am unnecessarily finicky about such things, I simply will not settle for store-brand skin care, dental care, or feminine hygiene products. But for all my desire to cut costs wherever and whenever possible, I am a creature of habit, and a lot of times the store brand just isn't the same.A lot of my favorite

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-60976596038822883752008-10-07T20:37:00.003-04:002008-10-07T20:57:17.662-04:00

...and he's not doing it very effectively.Cases in point:1) In 2002, M. Night Shyamalan's rather disappointing Mel-Gibson-vs.-aliens flick Signs was filmed in and around my charming old historical hometown. But I'd moved from my parents' house to Cleveland a little more than a year prior. Sorry you missed me, Mel.2) Last week, scenes from the new movie Edge of Darkness were filmed at the book

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-42949860141800022022008-10-06T15:57:00.003-04:002008-10-06T23:08:01.302-04:00

As part of my policy of getting out of the house at least once a day, Tovah and I make regular trips to Big Y. By "regular," I mean "at least six times a week." Sometimes we go more than once a day, but this is because we live across the street (translation: no wasting of gas) and Tovah goes in the stroller (translation: I can't fit that much in a basket).The parking lot is not very

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-25529788351204764592008-09-11T10:59:00.003-04:002008-09-11T11:02:26.931-04:00

Rule #1 of classified advertising:Do not misspell the name of your company.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-34021064594542927372008-09-10T15:11:00.003-04:002008-11-17T13:50:13.926-05:00

Yesterday I saw an interesting car. It wasn't a hybrid, bio-diesel, natural gas, or electric vehicle. In fact, it was a rather ordinary late-model wagon, festooned all over with various bumper stickers proclaiming its owner's position on various social issues. For a car parked in Northampton, Mass., this is not so unusual.What made this otherwise unremarkable car so interesting was that one of

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-730602225008442952008-09-01T21:07:00.005-04:002008-09-01T21:42:57.372-04:00

Asthma medications and nasal sprays, many types of which I've had the (mis)fortune of sampling over the years, seem to be named by the Chinese-menu method--one from column A, one from column B. With the limited variety of prefixes and suffixes, I tend to get confused when I'm asked to identify which medications I've tried over the past quarter of a century. Was it Rhinocort that made my nose

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-50602730358141991532008-08-23T18:13:00.003-04:002008-08-23T18:26:08.547-04:00

According to my spam folder, Paris Hilton has been very busy. Not only has she been getting it on with SpongeBob, but she's entertained various other luminaries:from: First Gerendasnesubject: Corzine visits Paris Hiltonfrom: Corbin adfasfwesubject: Scooter Libby heads for Twin Towers' Paris Hilton Suitefrom: Garrison Lucajsubject: Epidemic Breaks Out in Prisons After Paris Hilton's Releasefrom:

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-61771510743399421272008-08-22T10:28:00.004-04:002008-08-22T10:35:20.659-04:00

from: wlock Skeiesubject: SpongeBob named in Paris Hilton paternity lawsuitAnd here James Dobson et al. had me convinced that SpongeBob is gay.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-42293722852958833522008-08-17T22:02:00.004-04:002008-08-17T22:17:40.908-04:00

Periodically I have anxiety dreams about being in high school. In these dreams, I'm my current age, but for some reason I have to retake one of my high school classes (usually calculus) and attempt to blend in with kids at least a decade my junior. What makes these anxiety dreams is that invariably I've forgotten something important--such as an assignment, a test, or the location of the classroom

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-78317176510440173932008-08-13T21:31:00.003-04:002008-08-13T22:03:47.891-04:00

The English language has the reputation of being notoriously hard to learn, as it's chock full of words whose pronunciation doesn't match their spelling, bizarrely irregular verbs and plurals, and a subjunctive tense that not even native speakers understand.Dutch, however, is just plain funny. At least, the English-speaking Mrs. Gerbil and I think so.For example: did you know that "Monsterhouder"

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-72374634661522320912008-08-09T20:21:00.004-04:002008-08-09T20:23:54.581-04:00

A cute video from my aunt's colleague's family:

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-50517927809532884452008-08-02T12:04:00.008-04:002008-08-02T14:14:43.094-04:00

Although I'm only 17 months and two days away from turning 30 (ZOMGWTF!), I occasionally still have difficulty remembering, and accepting, that I am an adult. Perhaps it is my baby face. Perhaps it's a lingering effect of having been at least a year younger than my classmates in school. Or perhaps it's a function of just how long adolescence lasts in US culture--some theories of development hold

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-33708647521363913622008-07-24T19:35:00.001-04:002008-07-24T19:44:10.655-04:00

1998:"ZOMG, the X-Files movie comes out tomorrow! We've got to go see it--tomorrow!"2008:"ZOMG, the X-Files movie comes out tomorrow! Oy, we'd need a babysitter... but Tovah's not taking a bottle regularly, and what if she doesn't behave herself, and what if we can't concentrate on the movie because we're worried about her, and... Oh well, guess we'll just wait till it comes out on DVD."

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-68790835036925868762008-07-17T22:48:00.002-04:002008-07-17T22:52:27.608-04:00

I enjoyed a lovely grape Popsicle this evening, and I was rewarded for my brain-freezing efforts with the following oxymoron-masquerading-as-a-joke:Uh...

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-77414655966736599882008-07-10T18:46:00.002-04:002008-07-10T18:54:10.932-04:00

I got this great spam the other day:from: Christsubject: Memo to all employeesIf you know Mrs. Gerbil, 'nuff said.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-1650153051926225572008-06-29T15:53:00.005-04:002008-06-29T16:55:46.400-04:00

Hey! This is my 200th post! Rock on.During the last few months of my pregnancy, I enjoyed a brief hiatus from being honked at by dudes in cars. Though Mrs. Gerbil would beg to differ, I've never thought of myself as particularly attractive. The extra forty pounds made me feel even less attractive (again, Mrs. Gerbil would beg to differ), so I was glad for the lack of honking.A staple of my

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-24975088784541483492008-06-24T14:15:00.004-04:002008-06-24T14:20:11.125-04:00

My blog-pals Roy, Dinah, and ClinkShrink are hosting this week's Grand Rounds over at Shrink Rap.Even if you are not excited about the prospect of lots of health- and mental-health-related blog posts, it's worth it just for their awesome interactive iPhone graphic. (Which has a little purple gerbil in it!)

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-66041385396135237282008-06-21T22:54:00.006-04:002008-06-22T11:59:26.893-04:00

My cell phone and I have a love-hate relationship. I do not care for bells and whistles like call waiting, text messaging, or camera functions; and I always have a devil of a time explaining myself to the guys at the Verizon store. I also do not care for cell phones' collective implication of round-the-clock availability of their owners. But I like being able to talk to certain people for free,

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-67009953565345529242008-06-12T17:33:00.003-04:002008-06-12T17:46:04.829-04:00

I am a very, very bad child of the 80s.Last weekend I finally saw Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in its entirety. All 14 cheese-tastic minutes of it.(In my defense, I was three when the video was released, and my parents do not have cable. But still, this is kinda embarrassing.)And it made me wonder--what, exactly, is involved in an audition for a zombie movie? Do they ask aspiring zombies to

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-15720149404698910572008-06-05T15:48:00.002-04:002008-06-05T15:50:44.357-04:00

I haven't posted one of these in ages--almost two years, to be exact. But that's not to say I haven't been doing them. I just haven't been posting them.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-9066120052497087882008-06-04T14:47:00.005-04:002008-06-04T15:19:12.229-04:00

What with the rising price of gas, Mrs. Gerbil and I decided it was high time to get new bicycles. My old beloved purple bike had died a valiant death of rust before our move from Ohio to California, and Mrs. Gerbil's black one was sacrificed for our move from California to Massachusetts. Mrs. Gerbil had promised me a new bike for Hanukkah a few years ago, and we'd gone to a bike shop of good

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-64403631498723134482008-05-24T18:34:00.008-04:002008-05-24T19:08:41.715-04:00

Although we don't really live in a real neighborhood these days, we are right across the street from a whole bunch of useful things. These include the cheapest gas station in South Hadley, Dunkin' Donuts, a Chinese restaurant, a Greek and pizza restaurant, a drycleaner, Friendly's, a hardware store, and a grocery store. (Oh, and there's an armed services recruiting office, too, but that's not so

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-1962522892599100342008-05-19T18:24:00.007-04:002008-05-19T21:59:38.062-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I took Tovah on her first overnight trip this past weekend, to visit Grandma and Grandpa Gerbil. A very fun time was had by all!(Moo, I am sorry we didn't have time to look you up... but once you move to Phila., getting together will be even easier!)On our way back today I had this fantastic conversation with the man selling soft pretzels, nuts, Swedish fish, etc. at the Trenton

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-33863020016921685182008-05-01T16:28:00.004-04:002008-05-01T16:48:55.242-04:00

As a general rule I do not like fantasy as a genre. I also do not care much for science fiction, except for real old-school stuff like Asimov and silly stuff like Douglas Adams (both of whom I started reading when I was about 10). At one point I did like both of these genres, but that point has long been over.However, I've recently discovered Terry Pratchett, who seems to be to fantasy what

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-36899074585380461902008-04-25T13:53:00.002-04:002008-04-26T15:13:31.453-04:00

Thursday was a red-letter day in the Passover department. Although we and Stop & Shop had run out of matzo, all was not lost. I made matzo meal bagels for the first time, from my grandma's recipe (which actually came from Manischewitz, but whatever), and they turned out rather nicely. Mrs. Gerbil likes them, though she wouldn't call them bagels, exactly.For dinner I made matzo ball soup. I am

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-22020705173763149982008-04-17T16:14:00.006-04:002008-04-17T16:37:10.280-04:00

I used to feel rather guilty if I slept past 8:30 or 9 on a weekday. This changed with Tovah's arrival. I now feel emotionally out-of-sorts if I don't sleep past 8:30 or 9!Previously I was not bothered by phone calls before 9:30 in the morning. Of course, this too has changed. 9:30 in the morning now feels like 7:30 in the morning, which is just too darn early for the phone to ring. But, perhaps

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-31374394095563553562008-04-11T18:56:00.004-04:002008-04-11T19:04:07.378-04:00

The other day I tried on a few pairs of pre-preggo pants. I've been wearing regular tops since coming home from the hospital on Friday, but pants are of course another story. (Come to think of it, pants are pretty much always another story.)I know that one loses a significant amount of weight in the first week or so after delivery, but I'm a little weirded out by the fact that, six days after

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-52772006214326146152008-04-03T12:28:00.003-04:002008-04-03T12:30:54.659-04:00

This is Mrs. Gerbil borrowing the mike to report some happy news.The baby gerbil Tovah was born yesterday morning at 10:10.Everyone's doing great! And Gerbil will surely be sharing more with you when she's able to come home and use the internet.Here is Tovah:

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-34285582636359163812008-04-01T13:19:00.004-04:002008-04-01T14:24:59.408-04:00

I am among the many lucky souls who have allergic asthma. Thus, when my allergies are sufficiently under control, I don't have asthma attacks. Though I'm never totally symptom-free as far as my allergies are concerned, asthma management has always been fairly easy for me. The only extended period of respiratory problems I've ever really had was the direct result of my severe allergy to California

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-10436841283566003732008-03-30T19:45:00.003-04:002008-03-30T20:01:12.651-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil tells me I do not do sitting around on my butt very well. She is correct. I have been sitting around on my butt for a few weeks now, waiting for the gerb to arrive, and frankly, it's starting to get annoying.For some reason, over the past few days I've been drawn to rehab movies. Last night we watched Postcards from the Edge, which wasn't all that interesting. I read the book (by none

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-20976348253590791342008-03-23T19:50:00.003-04:002008-03-23T20:10:05.501-04:00

I am doing some serious nesting these days. Having regained my sweet tooth as well as some of my energy, this is all a lot more fun.In the middle of last week I made Irish potato candy, which actually has nothing to do with potatoes. Then, on Friday, I made a batch of hamantaschen. Our house is now officially fully stocked with a lot of sweet, fatty, carb-o-licious stuff.Yesterday I started

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-29460759186744890432008-03-16T19:28:00.005-04:002008-03-16T19:36:56.246-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil, who is not Jewish, has taken to baking challah every Friday afternoon.My mother, who is, spent this morning making hot cross buns.And in other sociocultural/culinary news, I present yours truly, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen:

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-48567610498018272272008-03-12T11:21:00.006-04:002008-03-12T11:46:05.220-04:00

The other morning I was driving through a rather un-scenic part of Springfield, Mass., looking in vain for my new allergist's office. Google Maps totally let me down on this one. A quick call to the office (from a gas station parking lot--I can't talk on the phone and drive stick at the same time) put me back on track, but I was fifteen minutes late and that made my punctual, detail-oriented self

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-51486859218415465482008-03-08T22:01:00.006-05:002008-03-08T22:47:56.058-05:00

WARNING: This entry is not about Immanuel Kant's moral philosophy of unconditional obligations. If you're looking for Kant, you won't find him here. I kinda like Schopenhauer better anyway.Well! Now that I've got that out of my system--I was watching this weird, vaguely vapid show entitled "Secret Lives of Women" today. I had never heard of it before, but Comcast OnDemand graciously provides a

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-87448649624249115422008-03-07T12:42:00.004-05:002008-03-07T16:49:59.683-05:00

I thought that maybe, just maybe, folks in Massachusetts might assume that Mrs. Gerbil is my wife rather than my "special friend." In California, some admitted that they should know better than to assume that there is a Mr. Gerbil, but California does not have gay marriage. (Yet.)But Massachusetts does have gay marriage. Mrs. Gerbil and I had a lovely Massachusetts wedding almost two and a half

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-51997167476574069942008-03-02T17:41:00.005-05:002008-03-02T18:01:08.917-05:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I went out and bought a prodigious amount of essential baby gear yesterday. One of these essential items was a car seat.Mrs. Gerbil decided that we should install the car seat right away, even though the gerb is not due for another five and a half weeks. (Of course, the gerb could really arrive any time.) I was tired and cranky from a lot of mall-walking in snow boots that really

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-41347168337275612372008-02-27T18:31:00.005-05:002008-02-27T19:20:55.167-05:00

A few weeks after we moved, I decided it was high time to get myself a local cell phone number. It seemed silly to continue using my old phone number, for three reasons. First, it would be a long-distance call from any land line in these parts. Second, on account of the three-hour time difference, I was getting wrong-number calls at 2 or 3 in the morning. Third, even moving 3000 miles away did

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-59932451510452366002008-02-21T21:08:00.004-05:002008-02-21T21:33:17.388-05:00

My aforementioned temp assignment is at a local hospital's VNA and hospice program. (VNA, for those not in the know, stands for "visiting nurse association.") This assignment has involved a lot of personal "firsts," like operating a Pitney-Bowes postage meter, stamping stacks of incoming mail with the date of receipt (which makes me feel oddly East German), and scheduling a UPS pickup.This

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-8513046165522223922008-02-16T18:26:00.006-05:002008-02-16T19:26:13.545-05:00

I officially started temping this past week. My current assignment is as a receptionist for a local hospital's visiting nurse and hospice program. I am reminded of the bridge in the Barenaked Ladies song "Never is Enough," wherein they singYou get your Ph.D.How happy you will beWhen you get a job at Wendy'sAnd are honored with Employee of the MonthI'm not flipping burgers. However, I'm still not

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-34148782593010180522008-02-12T20:34:00.000-05:002008-02-12T21:08:04.194-05:00

One of the formative events of Mrs. Gerbil's and my relationship was her accompaniment of my audition for the Newtown Chamber Orchestra's Young Musician Competition when we were but wee high school sophomores. I auditioned with the first movement of Vivaldi's Spring. Alas, I did not win (though a few months later I did win the Youth Orchestra of Bucks County's soloist competition, with the third

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-51699739397877436462008-02-07T11:26:00.000-05:002008-02-07T12:45:59.342-05:00

This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, but western Massachusetts has a much more reasonable cost of living than does the Bay Area. For example, I bought a gallon of store-brand skim milk the other day at Stop & Shop for $3.69. A month ago we were buying store-brand skim milk from Safeway for $4.59 per gallon. (The gerb demands a lot of milk these days, so milk prices make me a lot happier than

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-52110832674700969482008-01-29T16:58:00.000-05:002008-01-29T18:04:39.449-05:00

I went down to Pennsylvania for about 48 hours this past weekend. Now that Mrs. Gerbil and I live on the East Coast, it's much easier to plan last-minute trips to my parents' house. Instead of being cooped up in a plane for 5 hours, plus enduring all the aggravations of the airport, I stretched out on Amtrak for 5 hours.In my experience, time passes much more quickly on the train than on the

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-35298521630194149982008-01-24T19:02:00.000-05:002008-01-24T19:27:33.085-05:00

First things first: We have phone service! The Verizon guy came this morning and had everything working in less than 10 minutes. Praise the Lord and pass the address book! Haven't heard from our case manager, though we did get a nice (albeit rather superfluous) phone call on our land line to inform us that our phone was now in service. Right-o. That only took two weeks...And now for other

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-40275796480985148272008-01-23T17:43:00.000-05:002008-01-23T18:52:42.707-05:00

First, some ketchup: Day Five of our cross-country drive took us to my parents' house in good old Newtown, PA; and Day Six took us to our new home in South Hadley, MA. We've been here since January 13, but we only just got the internet to come into the house this morning. Thus, my lapse in blogging. Sorry about that. (In any event, there wasn't anything funny on Day Five except my parents; and by

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-29083042814976761442008-01-11T21:15:00.000-05:002008-01-11T21:26:35.713-05:00

Today we had a relatively short day of driving--eight hours as opposed to ten or ten and a half. We drove from Lonoke, AR, to Knoxville, TN. This particular stretch of I-40 is equally rich in churches and porn shops, as Mrs. Gerbil observes.I didn't take any scenic pictures today. I did, however, capture some amazing truck graffiti:(The world on time, indeed!)Also we passed arguably the

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-29680309728734299662008-01-10T21:51:00.000-05:002008-01-10T22:09:04.038-05:00

Today we made it all the way from Amarillo, TX, to Lonoke, AR. Lonoke is about twenty minutes or so east of Little Rock. My cell phone doesn't work very well here, and the phone book is about as thick as your average elementary school novel, but lodgings are much cheaper in these parts than they are in Little Rock.The cat complained a lot more than usual today--almost four hours of pissed-off

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-91855914468328652682008-01-10T00:07:00.000-05:002008-01-10T21:50:53.771-05:00

Today we drove from Kingman, AZ, to Amarillo, TX. It was a very, very long day. Three of the four of us (i.e., Mrs. Gerbil, the cat, and I) were rather displeased by the length of today's drive. The cat, on the other hand, feels the need to complain a lot before allowing herself to be lulled. She'll go to sleep after about an hour of kvetching; but that first hour is not pleasant for anyone

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-52200584405728510882008-01-08T23:33:00.000-05:002008-01-09T00:04:45.156-05:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I are en route to our new place in western Massachusetts. Today we drove from our lovely extended stay quarters in Emeryville, CA, to Kingman, AZ. (We had left our Berkeley apartment on New Year's Eve day to accommodate the landlords, but to accommodate our employers, we had remained in the Bay Area another week.)Before today, I had never seen California's Central Valley, which

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-40262895071758011272008-01-04T23:05:00.000-05:002008-01-04T23:51:14.924-05:00

We have some designs on the gerb--namely, that it will be a musician. It probably doesn't matter whether musical aptitude is determined by nature or nurture (or some combination of both), as both of its mommies are musicians from musical families.And already the gerb has definite preferences. It gets all excited when I break out the violin and play unaccompanied Bach, though it tends to sleep

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-85785461531876650182007-12-24T21:40:00.000-05:002007-12-24T21:49:49.715-05:00

I received a call the other day from a man who said he'd found a wallet with an insurance card inside it. On the insurance card was a phone number, and when he called it, he got me. He wanted to return the wallet (and the money and credit cards inside) to its owner, and he requested the member's phone number for this purpose.Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to help this kind man. HIPAA

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-71243825558996113082007-12-18T21:06:00.000-05:002007-12-18T21:32:47.607-05:00

My cubicle is strategically located by the breakroom. Thus, lots of people stop to say "hi"... but apparently lots of people also stop to check out my decor when I'm not there. And when someone introduces him- or herself to me at work, I usually hear "I love looking at all the decorations in your cube!"So I will fall into conversation with this person. This person will ask when I got married,

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-31054576273218010632007-12-17T12:26:00.000-05:002007-12-18T21:31:05.034-05:00

After Mrs. Gerbil determined that she writes like a man, we had ourselves a lively discussion about what, exactly, makes for manly vs. womanly (girly?) writing. When I analyzed several sections of my dissertation, I found that I write like a weak (girly?) man, or possibly a European man, or maybe a European metrosexual. But other writings of mine--especially letters of complaint--came back

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-599070390343186902007-12-12T13:14:00.000-05:002007-12-12T13:28:00.303-05:00

1. If you know me in real life and/or read Mrs. Gerbil's blog, then you already know that we are moving to Massachusetts in a little less than a month. If you don't know me in real life and do not read Mrs. Gerbil's blog, you are hereby informed that we are finally moving back East! (And why aren't you a reader of Mrs. Gerbil's blog? Hm?)2. Many people have asked whether we will be having a home

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-42547657550840275472007-12-03T01:40:00.000-05:002007-12-03T02:02:11.511-05:00

I had a very strange dream the other night. I don't recall most of it, but high-capacity porta-potties figured prominently therein. And in my dream, they were called......Oodles of Doodles.I'm pretty clever even in my sleep, eh?

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-7523304495007125132007-11-27T17:29:00.001-05:002007-11-27T18:35:33.223-05:00

There has been a surge in disciplinary action for "sexual harassment" among schoolchildren. "Sexual harassment" appears to mean "hugs." A preschooler was suspended for hugging a teacher's aide. A junior high student served detention for hugging friends. Schools have developed very strict no-contact policies that even ban hand-holding. (Huh? Isn't that how you keep track of your field-trip buddy?)

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-57657821559839239712007-11-20T18:33:00.000-05:002007-11-20T18:48:37.712-05:00

1. My new sock monkey slippers from Target. I prefer ballet slippers to scuffs, but my feet are starting to swell on account of the gerb; and so these (with their memory foam soles) are just plain awesome right now. For maximum sock-monkey-osity, I wear my sock monkey slippers with monkey socks.2. Cocoa Creme Tums Smoothies. Okay, so I turned up my nose at vanilla chai deodorant. But since

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-60394013157271345292007-11-09T13:27:00.000-05:002007-11-09T13:49:02.207-05:00

Thomasville Furniture has a product line called Wanderlust.It seems you can deck your entire house with its daring, adventurous rusticity.But Wanderlust (from the German, of course) is a strong, perhaps irresistible urge to travel. So if one truly had Wanderlust, one should not care about the furniture in one's house, for one would not want to be in the house very often. Therefore: why name a

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-51363262403187565042007-11-07T13:15:00.000-05:002007-11-07T13:16:23.435-05:00

My mother was just elected to council in my wee little hometown!Go my mom!

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-43951047662001736042007-11-06T17:56:00.000-05:002007-11-06T18:00:59.514-05:00

I want there to be Pineapple Upside-Down Minis at my (as yet unscheduled) baby shower.As Mrs. Gerbil so eloquently put it, "How do you look at those and not see boobs?"

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-32150587466639386132007-11-05T17:45:00.000-05:002007-11-05T17:49:34.125-05:00

Books for Botox.Because beauty may be only skin deep, but the satisfaction of knowing you got some free botulin toxin for your face in exchange for some kids' books lasts forever.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-48909999004464293692007-11-02T20:51:00.001-04:002007-11-02T21:03:36.347-04:00

Lea requested some fun pregnancy posts every once in a while. Well, ask and ye shall receive!I have always been a baker, especially when under stress. I'm not terribly stressed at the moment--the second trimester indeed is better than the first, though I still have some nausea--but I've had a resurgence of desire to Bake Stuff.First I decided to take up my mom's tradition of baking Halloween

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-81704935674344250972007-10-28T22:29:00.000-04:002007-10-28T22:48:52.670-04:00

BART was full of cuteness this evening. Or perhaps I am merely noticing cuteness more often now that I am growing some cuteness in my midsection.Well, whatever. I was sitting across the aisle from a spunky five-year-old and her mother. They were evidently returning from a rather eclectic shopping trip. The little girl's loot included a couple of lollipops and a yellow plastic recorder. The

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-38854522612829228622007-10-20T23:46:00.000-04:002007-10-20T23:57:23.330-04:00

[warning: may be NSFW]Why, all of a sudden, has my spam folder been deluged with penis spam?Some of my favorite recent subject lines:Is your small penis your only problem?no, actually, that's not one of my problems at allYour new penis is waiting for you!I don't remember ordering one of those...No doubt! Your bigger penis will make them jealous!I'm speechlessBigger penis won't be on TV but in

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-77068028589265074442007-10-16T13:50:00.000-04:002007-10-16T15:29:02.911-04:00

There is a variety of mood disorder known colloquially as Seasonal Affective Disorder. In the DSM-IV it is actually not a separate disorder, but rather a specifier which can be tacked onto a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder or a major depressive episode in Bipolar Disorder. Basically this specifier is a fancy way of saying "the person becomes depressed when a particular season (usually fall

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-60365671706484850652007-10-15T21:36:00.000-04:002007-10-15T22:21:43.567-04:00

The City of Berkeley has an ordinance which prohibits smoking in various public locations, including bus stops. Being the comprehensive city that Berkeley is, there is another chapter of the same ordinance detailing exactly how this information is to be posted. The penalty, supposedly, is fine and/or imprisonment.Unfortunately, the Berkeley police have their hands full with such weightier issues

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-10106569341459417222007-10-07T22:39:00.000-04:002007-10-07T23:44:56.566-04:00

Last month I was chosen to attend a "town hall" meeting at work. It was a chance to meet our new CEO, to find out the company's official corporate goals (executive summary: global domination), and to voice our questions and concerns.Several employees voiced concerns about our terrible benefits package. We work for a ginormous health insurance conglomerate, and yet we get shafted by the insurance

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-71064841497036649152007-10-05T13:43:00.000-04:002007-10-05T14:01:33.945-04:00

Yesterday Mrs. Gerbil and I finally bid farewell to the Big Gay Subaru.My parents bought it new in the spring of 1995, toward the end of Mrs. Gerbil's and my sophomore year of high school (the year we met). It became mine a few years later, and two and a half years ago it became Mrs. Gerbil's also.It was a good car, but alas, it was growing progressively more senile. And so we traded it in for a

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-51789005208886259492007-10-02T14:34:00.000-04:002007-10-02T15:01:09.395-04:00

Last week I went back to my old stomping grounds for a little visit. I had racked up enough frequent flyer miles on Continental that my flight was free... plus $10 "tax," of course. (How do you assess sales tax on something that is free? Ask an airline executive; I sure don't know the answer.) To my delight, I even had enough miles to fly first class--but only on the way there.I had never flown

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-55477664364360997312007-10-01T14:52:00.000-04:002007-10-01T15:24:59.067-04:00

Yesterday was San Francisco's annual Folsom Street Fair, a celebration of all that is leather, fetish, or otherwise kinky. (NB: the aforementioned link is probably not suitable for work.)I have never been to the Folsom Street Fair. It's really not my scene. However, there were some really hot fairgoers on the BART with me in the late afternoon, which I found pretty interesting.Many of these

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-86269535800905455082007-09-26T18:15:00.000-04:002007-11-02T21:04:18.677-04:00

I mentioned once that Mrs. Gerbil and I were thinking about parenthood.Well, I suppose now would be a good time to announce that we are expecting a little gerb!(Of course, dear reader, you are quite intelligent; and if I haven't already told you in real life, you probably would have surmised this from my newly belly-riffic avatar and the baby ticker.)Hooray for little April gerbs!

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-69054746520083013692007-09-18T14:20:00.000-04:002007-09-26T18:38:32.391-04:00

Right now there is a bill on the Governator's desk which would make marriage in California gender-neutral. This very same bill landed on his desk for the first time two years ago; and the Governator vetoed it. His rationale was that gender-neutral marriage was against "the will of the people." That, in turn, came from a ballot initiative passed in 2000, Proposition 22, which was supported by just

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-69397138987725941162007-09-05T12:55:00.000-04:002007-09-05T13:34:08.162-04:00

toothpastefordinner.comMost nights I come home from work with a couple of choice stories for Mrs. Gerbil. These stories fall generally into one of three categories: Calls that Break My Heart, WTF?, and Oh My God I Thought I'd Never Get That Person Off the Phone.Although I skipped kindergarten (I was a precocious little gerb) I do know about sharing, and I think I'm generally pretty good at it. So

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-5821400050830117172007-08-29T13:13:00.000-04:002007-08-29T14:19:08.335-04:00

In these parts, everyone's got a cause. Whether it's immigration, keeping immigrants out, world peace, taking over the world, stopping global warming, disputing global warming, gay rights, "traditional family values," preserving Lake Tahoe, developing Lake Tahoe, keeping sex ed in schools, keeping sex ed in the home, gun control, the right to bear arms, multiculturalism, hegemony, keeping God in

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-19322186857713867622007-08-23T22:47:00.000-04:002007-08-24T14:45:54.139-04:00

Animaniacs came out just as Mrs. Gerbil and I were starting high school. The timing could not have been better. We were just barely too old for kids' cartoons, but just old enough to get adult humor. For Halloween of our sophomore year, a bunch of us even went out trick-or-treating as several of the Animaniacs. Appropriately, Mrs. Gerbil was Wakko, and I was the Brain.I love Pinky and the Brain.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-7396856757503376132007-08-22T14:17:00.000-04:002007-08-22T15:00:20.531-04:00

I get a lot of calls from people who want to go to detox, or who want their family members to go to detox. Often they are legitimate candidates for immediate, do-not-pass-go-do-not-collect-$200 detox. For example, they've decided to go cold turkey from alcohol and now are tremulous and sweating. Or they've been quadrupling their Xanax and their psychiatrist won't write another prescription.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-64339186610700651022007-07-27T13:46:00.000-04:002007-07-27T13:50:58.868-04:00

Spam makes the everyday exciting!spam that passes the buck.from: Michellesubject: Maria wants to know what you thinkspam that's easily obeyed.from: Edsubject: Don't let Ed ruin your sex life!spam that... wait, what?from: Milli Koprasubject: The permission entry for which to search

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-61491113303768665412007-07-27T00:39:00.000-04:002007-07-27T01:58:27.876-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I finally went to see Sicko last night. I was very impressed. I'm not a Michael Moore groupie--perhaps because my parents had me watch Roger and Me when I was a mere pre-teen, and I was rather bored by it--but I do appreciate a good exposé when I see one.And it got me thinking about what I currently do for a living.The insurance group I work for was not featured in Sicko. My

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-28236087294707423912007-07-22T12:54:00.000-04:002007-07-22T13:13:43.875-04:00

Next month, select Wal-Mart stores are supposed to begin stocking the Tales of Glory line of Biblical action figures.Apparently there is a "Battle for the Toy Box!" going on. It seems to me like a pretty one-sided battle, declared by the side that perceives itself to be under attack. But that is a snark for a different day.For today, I bring you: The Nativity Play Set.You will notice, in the

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-18725943613340824842007-07-17T13:19:00.000-04:002007-07-17T14:02:17.793-04:00

For Christmas last year, Mrs. Gerbil and I ordered her father a great new doormat.There was a problem with the way the order was processed, however. It was supposed to be shipped directly to him in Seattle, but billed to us in Berkeley. What actually happened was that the order was shipped to him at our Berkeley billing address--where he obviously does not live. Having already paid a stiff UPS

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-17401512021739810872007-07-09T01:16:00.000-04:002007-07-09T01:45:58.933-04:00

I find spam simultaneously very annoying and very funny. This is in sharp contrast to my opinion on junk mail of the paper variety, which I find very annoying (and not funny at all). I have, in fact, been known to call companies which persist in clogging my home mailbox, in order to ask them please to stop killing trees in an attempt to get my business.(Admittedly, I have also been known to

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-29642365135872633332007-06-29T00:47:00.000-04:002007-06-29T00:51:15.861-04:00

Grocery store cashier: Do you have a twin sister?me: Huh?cashier: It's not often that we get such beautiful customers... [observing my wedding band] ...and I see you're already taken.me: Sorry, I'm an only child.cashier: It was worth a shot.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-89990357376353430192007-06-26T13:38:00.000-04:002007-06-26T14:36:54.105-04:00

I have now lived amongst Bay Area Californians for two years and three weeks. I have striven so hard to maintain my small-town, East Coast sensibility in this land of "greener than thou," "size matters," and (my personal favorite) "I was first before you were first." And I'd thought I was doing a darn good job of it.There is sort of an unspoken rule at BART stations that passengers should form

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-69417051465605231222007-06-21T22:19:00.000-04:002007-06-21T22:46:02.741-04:00

I should preface this by admitting that I am a spelling champion. By this I mean I won the school spelling bee when I was in the fourth grade (and still have the trophy somewhere to prove it).And now, with the aforegoing disclaimer: Please do not write "parody" when you mean "parity." For, honey, this makes my teeth hurt.A parody pokes fun at something by imitating and exaggerating its

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-7590751825237007172007-06-12T14:41:00.000-04:002007-06-12T15:16:22.976-04:00

If you've ever tried to do anything remotely related to health care of any sort in the United States, you've hopefully heard of HIPAA. (For the record, that's one P and two A's--as in Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.)The gist of HIPAA is that (except in very specific cases) personal health information cannot be released without consent. This is a good idea in theory. However,

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-22050564911752585702007-06-07T18:27:00.000-04:002007-06-07T19:22:23.744-04:00

Add to the list of brilliant legislation being considered by the Golden State a bill which would require all pets to be spayed or neutered. If this becomes law (and it's already passed the state Assembly), mutt owners will be fined for not altering their pets, and owners of registered purebreds will be eligible for an exemption--for a price, of course.Yes, this bill has good intentions.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-49934121774042571062007-06-01T15:19:00.000-04:002007-06-01T15:36:31.851-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I were standing at a street corner in Union Square, waiting for the light to change, when a young man approached us. He was toting a black binder, the sort that activist street team members carry.(I dread being approached by people with binders, for I do not sign petitions or fill out postcards or sign up for membership or anything of the sort. It doesn't matter what the cause is;

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-7705020411670593362007-05-31T17:12:00.000-04:002007-05-31T17:54:08.739-04:00

I am considering applying for a job in a Catholic health system. The online application system won't let me fill anything out until I swear (in electronic form) that, if hired, I will act in such a way which is consistent with their mission statement. Which, naturally, contains lots and lots of references to specific beliefs.This seemed a little too much like a credal oath to me, and out of place

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-84634533929013611572007-05-29T14:07:00.000-04:002007-05-29T15:18:35.317-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil is always after me to remember that not everyone knows how The (Managed Care) System works.I usually regale her with at least two work stories each night. Sometimes I just need to de-brief a particularly stressful call; but more often than not the first line of my tale is, "Oh, my God, I had the most ridiculous call tonight." (It should go without saying that I never vent any

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-34206251896470682302007-05-22T12:59:00.000-04:002007-05-22T13:27:02.776-04:00

Hormel Foods is having a drawing for a Toyota Prius.Yes, you read that correctly. The folks who bring you Spam, that archetype of artificiality, are raffling off a hybrid.No purchase necessary!

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-89643353808049266702007-05-18T14:07:00.000-04:002007-05-18T15:16:03.658-04:00

Mrs. Gerbil and I have a bad habit of going to the corner store in the evenings for a pint of Breyer's A&W Root Beer Float ice cream. We indulged said habit last night. On the way out of the store, I pointed out the top headline on the Contra Costa Times, which read as follows:Warming called security threat.Mrs. Gerbil and I were both struck by the absolute absurdity of the story. But whereas my

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-161321228333035932007-05-17T15:59:00.000-04:002007-05-17T16:25:29.107-04:00

Paris Hilton's psychiatrist, Charles Sophy, says she's "emotionally distraught and traumatized" from receipt of a 45-day jail sentence.I could go on a snarky little rant to the effect of "oh, how traumatic it is to be held accountable for one's actions." But I'm not going to go there.Instead, I ask: Did Dr. Sophy obtain permission from Paris to release information about her mental state, or even

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-7281175897315674562007-05-14T14:23:00.000-04:002007-05-14T14:27:29.886-04:00

Thank you for calling The Afterlife.If you know your party's extension, please dial it now.For heaven, press 1.For hell, dial extension 666.For purgatory, please stay on the line and someone will be with you as soon as possible.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-17499691384386540542007-05-10T15:32:00.000-04:002007-05-10T16:50:13.579-04:00

I'm allergic to California.Well, I'm allergic to a lot of things in a lot of places, but California is home to some special type of grass which, I believe, was created especially to torture me. Allergy testing has shown that, indeed, I am ridiculously allergic to California grass. California grass decided to bloom on Tuesday.Holy crap, did that ever suck.I broke down and took some Benadryl before

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-21250891982548910072007-05-07T13:25:00.000-04:002007-05-07T13:28:39.860-04:00

On Saturday morning BART was full of people going to the Giants-Phillies game. Lacking a place to sit, I found myself a place to stand."Excuse me, miss, would you like to sit down?" asked a boy of no more than 11 years of age. He rose halfway out of his seat before I could answer.I was very touched. I thanked him for the offer but insisted that he keep his seat. He seemed a little disappointed at

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18447251.post-56500754027180511792007-05-02T18:21:00.000-04:002007-05-02T18:26:49.746-04:00

Just because I have completed a ridiculous amount of education does not mean I must forsake adolscent humor.Seriously, those gnus have got it goin' ON.

Gerbilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.com1